Guess who's back?

...back again...Kingston's back...tewl a friend. Yes that's right! I'm back...and there's a new wittle one in town. He goes by the name of Brayby and I reawwy don't wike him. I don't know what kind of animaw he is, but he wooks a wot wike a mini papsa, wif a hint of momsa..but not too much cause he's a boy. But I reawwy don't see what the big fuss (no pun intended) is about. He doesn't feed himself, he can't walk, he can't even speak and scare off predators wike me. He's awake at the wrong times and makes mamsa and papsa get outta bed and makes papsa reawwy cranky.

I have to tip toe around this wittle fing and when he's sweeping and someone rings the doorbell I'm not supposed to bark? I don't get these ruwes. I can't chomp him eiver...which is what I would wuuuuv to do.

Wet me tell you about my wife before this wittle terror came into my wife. Well Mamsa started growing a watermelon in her bewwy and she stayed home every day wif me. We got coffee and treats at our favorite coffee stand, and watched movies and pwayed wif my chuck it. Every day, me and mamsa. Then one earwy morning mamsa and papsa weft in the middle of the night and weft me by my wonesome. Grandma saved me cause I had to go potty and I swept at her house...and then the next day mamsa and papsa brought Brayby home. The end of the rest of my wife. I no wonger get wuv..my aunties come over and barewy pay attention to me. They just "wuuuv Brayby" and want to squeeze him and kiss him...while I want the same fing..but nooooo I'm just in the way and too woud and too big to sit on your wap.

A few fings I wike about Brayby....

1. He goes well wif mashed potatoes (and Brayby)

...I may have to fink harder on that more..I can't fink of anyfing else at the moment...

And just to cwarify I onwy go into his room once in a while a night to check and see if he's been shipped to Africa yet...

Anyways I know it's been awhile and I haven't updated my bwog in wike 14 years now, so I hope you enjoyed it..I know I sure did..I needed to rant about stupid Brayby...anyways its off to bed..SWEEPOVER!

Is it summer already? Then where are mama and papa

Well.. uhh...I don't reawy have an excuse for why it has taken me so wong to update my bwog (can't reawy bwame me..I get it from my papa..)but today was a beautifuw day...sun was shining...gwramma and aunt smeggs were home...and welll uh...my stuffed animal was out in the grass when I went out there. So it reminded me that mama and papa are usuawy home when its sunny out. Well aunt smeggs and Gwramma went to some fing called the daffodiw parade to watch daffodiws or somefing wike that. So when they got back they opened the gwass door and I could walk frough that invisible forcefield whenever I pweased to go frowick in my jungle. Anyways Gwramma cweaned out my guest house (as seen in my bwog entitled "mtv called me up and wanted a tour of my krib") and its pretty cool in there now. And well..uhh Aunt Smegg Weggs got out the golf kart to drive around a wittle bit..(she forgot me though)..and we all just soaked up some sun...but mama and papa aren't home..where are you?!?! Anyways...thats about it...oh and Sannican.."ITS AUNT SANNICAN, KINGSTON!!!"...no way am I cawing her aunt sannican...but anyways sannican got a pedicure..."it's called a pet-i-cure kingston"...jeeze dumb-dumb stop interrupting me...well she got a "pet-i-cure" today...by Aunt smegg weggs..and now her toenails are bright pink...but she couldn't stay still wong enough to paint her back toe nails...she was searching for her ball while Aunt smegg weggs was painting her front nails...Well thats about it...

Wuv you Mama and Papa

Kingston

Uh oh..spaghetti-o's

Well uhh...before I begin my story wet me remind you mama and (pwease don't) papa (my bottom) that it has been a very wong time since I have done this.

Well uhh..it all begins Friday night when Gwramma and Aunt Smegg Weggs were out at Sumners tawent show.

Gwramma had made a reawy good roast for dinner and because Aunt Smeggs got home so wate they were in a rush to get out the door and get to Sumner. Well they weft the roast out on the counter and I reawy reawy tried not to eat it but it just smelled SO GOOD! Well uhh I'm not very good at wying, so when Gwramma and Aunt Smeggs got home they knew something was wrong.



It took them a while to realize what was missing (cause I didnt weave a crumb on the fwoor) but then Gwramma said..." There wasn't any roast left on that plate was there." I was caught. So of course Gwramma got mad at me....(But of course I am smiwing cause I am such a good charmer)

Gwramma forgot all about it cause I was being so cute...

And wawa...before you know it..Gwramma compwetwy forgot about it...:-D

And now we're best fwriends again
Wuv you mama and (pwease don't) papa (my bottom),

Kingston M.

P.S. Wet me just remind you once more mama and (pwease don't) papa (my bottom) that this was the first time this year that I have eaten somefing off the counter

MTV called me up and wanted a tour of my "Krib"

Welcome to my Krib

Wet's start wif my favorite part...the toys

These two are my favorites...Meet Snickers and Sandy

This is where the magic happens...the wuv sack

Welcome to my kitchen..anuver one of my favorite pwaces

Whats a kitchen wifout food..I'm a pretty simple dog sticking to a diet of dog food and water, wif the occasional scooby snack

Welcome to the Wiving room..no pwaying is awwowed in here...Gwramma says "I just vacuumed you guys and you're gonna leave paw prints everywhere"...frankwy I wike to call it "faux paw" Gwramma.

I am pretty spoiled...welcome to my hair sawon. If you were wondering how I am so handsome you are wookin at it...the furr furr furrminator. I'm in heaven whenever my aunties furminate me.

This is my jungle. I'm "King of the Jungle" at my Krib. I have acctuawy set up defense mechanisms all around the perimeter called wand mines that gwramma keeps stepping on and detonating them prematurewy.

This is where all my homie's stay when they come over...its my two story guest dog house. Now, wets go out front and take a wook at all my whips.

These whips are onwy used for special occasions wike going to the park or picking up mama and papa from the airport or going to bwuuuue wake This is my everyday summer ride. I wike to ghost ride the whip on this golf cart. Maybe next summer mama and papa will see me do it.
Of course 0ne of my most frequented whip is my weash seen here...yes its wightning bwue... And of course we can't forget about my crate. Sometimes I miss riding in it so much I just way in it just because

Well now you've seen my crib but I've got to go pway chuck-it wif my aunties so I fink it's time for you to weave now...

Kingston M. aka Attack Dog

So uhhh i have decided to try out a new profession...guard dogging! There have been a few occasions wately where I have needed to be ferocious (wike the wion that I am) to scare away a few people at the door wate at night. Gramma says how proud of me she is every time I do this, so I fink I might try it as a new profession. This does mean I have to change a few of my daywee rituals tho. From now on I have opted out of sweeping on mama and papas bed and instead I sneak out and sweep by the door each night. Gramma doesn't even make me.

Aunt Smeggs and Aunt Winz are helping me train. Sometimes they pway weird noises on the computer or I see dogs on tv that look like they're in the house and I sometimes hav false awarms. The other day gramma and aunt smeggs were watching the dog show and I swear one of the dogs jumped out of the tv and tried to get my gramma. So I ran full speed from the other end of the house to get the dog in the room, but I wasn't quick enough, by the time I made it to the rec room it jumped back into the tv. It must have seen me coming after him. I stood at the tv and barked at him and wet him know there would be no more of that nonsense and to weave my girls awone!

I did have a real false awarm though. Aunt Winz was pwaying a video of me barking and I accidentawee fought it was another dog....that's why I say I'm a guard dog in training. Anyways maybe after I get good enough I can eventuawee go from guard dog to wion dog. I mean, wook at me, I really think I look wike a wion.

Can you tell what one is me?

thats bull shih t

Yes...thats exactly right...I went for a walk today wif my wonderful aunt smegg weggs and because it was rather wet and cold, sannican had her bwack and pink fwuffy shirt on. Well uh...this attracted the attention of another wonderful dog walker who stopped to admire my handsomeness and also inquire about that ugwy white fwuffy fing. So Aunt Smegg Weggs said she was a maltipoo and he said his dog was a bull terrier and a Shih Tzu mix....now if you have ever seen dumb and dumber, you would have already noticed the hiwarity of that breed of dog...its kinda wike breeding a bull dog and shih tzu. Anyways...if you haven't gotten my joke yet..the dog was a bull shih t. Anyways...after that part of my walk, we decided to keep going but ugwy white dog was being a brat and didn't want to walk "because my paws are wet Kingston" so we turned around and came home...only to find out the real reason sannican couldn't walk...she had to go potty and didn't want to do it in pubwic...she has a fear of pubwic restrooms. Anyways all else is gwreat here at gwrammas pwace. Miss you mama and papa.

Wuv,

Kingston M.

Sandy's in heat

...nuff said..

Kingston M.

I wuv gwramma the most...ha ha beat her forever!

So, I uhh reuhwized that no one wuvs me (except Gwramma) . They wike to send me on these rower (roller) coaster twrips. Take mama and papa for instance. The save my wife, then they fwy to africa. Then they come home...and I get excited...then they weave again...and so on. So my auntie Winz comes in and saves me when mama and papa weave but then I get moved to Gwrammas house...and aunt winz weaves me..but sometimes comes back..but always weaves again. Aunt Smegg weggs...she comes home sometimes for months at a time..but always weaves again. But there is one person who hasn't. And that is my Gwramma. And I wuv Gwramma soooo much now. She even takes me on walks sometimes (cause she knows I wuv them). She feeds me...and wets me pway wif sannican and bite her...and chomp her. And she always wets me give her big kisses. Sometimes on the weekends she wets me jump on the bed wif her. (mama and papa, you can skip this next sentence) And she always gives me treats. Anyways...I wuv gwramma...and thats all I wanted to say...

Wuv,

Kingston Maurie (Gwrammas Favorite Grandchild)

Wack-a-sannican

Well uh..Have you ever pwayed wack-a-mole? Well I wike to pway wack-a-sannican. She hides in between the recwiner and the table and then runs out and I wike to wack her wif my paw and then she runs backwards back into her hiding spot. Then she comes out again and I wack her again and she hides... this goes on for about 5 minutes until she runs on the other side of the recwiner and I can't wack her anymore. Anyways I fink I'm writing so many bwogs cause I just want to wet everyone know that mama and papa are coming home in 41 hours and 17 minutes...and I'm so freakin excited.

Wuv you mama and papa

Your wuving son
Kingston M.

Guess what?

Aunt Smeggs walked in wif a bag of how-o-peen-yo chips...you know what that means?!?! Papa's coming home....mama better be wif him...

Can't a bruvver get some sweep?

Well uh... I decided that wast night I would sweep in gwrammas room cuz..well uh..aunt winz moved out, and now I'm a wittle wonewy in the room by myself. So Gwramma sets up my bed all nice for me and I way down trying to get comfy and go to sweep. Well that wasn't gonna happen anytime soon. Sannican was so excited for me to be sweeping in the same room that she couldn't sweep. I sometimes have that effect on people and fings wike sannican. So as I was waying down she wanted to come pway wif me and she wanted food and she just kept getting up all night wong...she was so distracted...and awso..she is a brat. She gets up and down all night wong, so Fozzie (scaredy dog) goes up and ways by gwrammas head cuz he wikes to snuggle (hmm..) but then sandy goes and lays down up by gwrammas head, but everytime she does it, she sits on fozzie so he freaks out and gets up and weaves...it happens every night. So I finawy fall asweep and well uh...sometimes I snore...so stupid sannican decides to go and stand at the end of gwrammas bed and just stare at me...man...that was pretty scary when I woke up. She was just staring at me. Stupid sannican. Anyways just fought I would wet you all know how I've been..and how stupid sannican is doing.

Wuv you mama and papa,

Kingstom M.

R.I.P. Mr. Who

Happy Thanksgiving!!

I think its nice to take a day out of each year and remember the things you are thankful for. Why not take this same day to eat a bite of food for each thing your thankful for. I wike to call it giving thanks day and I wike to have it on the 4th thursday of November. I have found the trend picking up quite quickwy. Well uh I think I'm gonna write down all the things I'm thankful for.

1. Mama and Papa for saving my wife
2. My new fur fur furminator for helping me wose 2 pounds.
3. Giving thanks day for helping me gain 2 pounds squared (Aunt smeggs has been teaching me some math...I thought it sounded better than 4 pounds)
4. My Aunties for all the wuv they give me.
5. Gwramma for always remembering to feed me
6. Aunt winzy for wetting me sweep on her bed wif her the past month
7. Gwramma for making a wondeful thanksgiving dinner
8. my aunties for putting a piece of turkey, gravy, part of a roll, stuffing, corn, mashed potatoes and cranberries in my dinner tonight...oh don't forget the gwucosamine.
9. Sannican for always scratching my tummy.
10. My new fur fur furminator for making my coat shiny and new
11. Stupid sannican for providing entertainment all day wong.
12. Mama and Papa for always calling to talk to me
13. Mama and Papa for choosing to come home and see me for Christmas
14. Scooby Snacks...of course
15. Bwuuuuuuue Wake
16. My chuck-it
17. My entire famiwy because they all wove me so much

Well I fink thats it for now. Don't worry Mama and Papa, I ate enough Thanksgiving for all free of us.

I wuv you Mama and Papa,
Kingston

I am thee new Kingston M. "Furminator" Swater

Aww man I cannot tell you uhh how much I wuv this new brush gramma got for me, her favorite grandson. It's uh called a fur fur furminator. It's actuawy called a furminator, but I wike adding the extra furs because it sounds coower when I say it wike that. Anyways this thing is the best fing since scooby roo snacks.

So here's how my first fur fur furminating experience went. Aunt Winz started to brush me, and I felt wike I was in heaven. I actuawy fell asweep about four times while she was doing it. When I woke up I was on the kitchen fwoor with a huge pile of my fur next to me. I fought for a second Aunt Winz was herkin my gerkin, I was afraid I might be shaved or possibwy red white and bwue wike Sanican once was. But I wasn't. I gwanced at my back end (wike I did that one time I ate half the bag of doggie treats papa) and my hair was still there. Anyways I decided that I need not worry so I went back to sweep because the fur fur furminator felt so freakin good.

Aunt Winz furminated me for about an hour and she ended up filling 2 grocery bags full of my fur. I am now the silkiest puppy you will ever meet. The only possible way I can get any silkier is if I eat an entire box of scooby roo snacks because they're good for my coat. I cannot wait for my mama and papa to come home because they can even feel for themselves. I am wike a whole new dog after this fur fur furminator. It really is unbewievable. I will try and post pictures but Aunt Winz took em' wif her new phone and she needs to downwoad the software for them to woad. You can't really tell the difference by wooking though, you have to feel me. So mama and papa why don't you just come home earwee. Aunt Winz is so impressed by my new fur that she says she will even wet me ride in her new car! I reawwy cannot wait for everyone to pet me.

Anyways I hope everyone else out there with old yucky hair is as fortunate as me to get a fur fur furminator. It reawwy is worf the money, it even works on kitties! Anyways I'm off to sneak some scooby roo snacks to make my coat even shinier. I wuv the furminator!!!!

Wuv,
Kingston M. "Furminator" Swater

Hawwoween with the dogs

So I've heard I have become pretty famous over in Africa. I knew it would happen one day. Anyways...well lets see...nuffin to exciting has been happening watewey....just the norm...you know..dumb dumb pwaying awl day wong...fozzie gettin scared at gwramma cheerin for the seahawks...and of course..me being the best dog in the whole wide world. Anyways wet me tell you a wittle bit about hawwoween. Well Gwramma got everyone cool new costumes...wuckiwy for me, petco didn't have costumes in my size. Unwuckiwy for me though, gwramma found my superdog costume. Aunt Smeggs awso brought her camera home. You can tell how upset I was over the whole situation. Anyways Sannican got a "cupid" costume. Here's her costume

But when gwramma found my costume, she awso found fozzies old devil costume. It didn't fit him very well..it was a wittle too big...weird though..it fits sannican perfectwy

If you are wondering what I'm doing, I am actuawy trying to figure out the best way to chomp on her...Sometimes when she has this costume on, I wike to bite the horns and pull back to strangle her. only for a little bit. I awso wike to bite the back of her cape and pull forward. Its pretty funny to watch her try and get out. Anyways...when she has this costume on..she get a wittle frustrated because she can't walk, cause she always steps on her cape...so this next picture was an example of how she gets it off...wet me remind you that at the beginning of the flash her costume was all the way on...by the end of the flash this is what she looked like

Anyways ...enough of dumb dumb...Fozzie awso got dressed up...as a football pwayer...good thing it was onwy hawwoween....if he were ever a real footbawl pwayer he'd probabwy be dead by now...or running off the field and never stopping..scaredy dog.

This picture was mid bark...cause he barks so much cause he's awlways scared. Anyways I fink I might take a break from this writing to watch the rest of the seahawks game...its tied and in overtime..pretty sure fozzie is about to pee his fur because gwramma keeps yewwing...anyways I'll be back...


Kingston has officowy been hacked...by me...sannican. Anyways...well...I wanted to tell everyone about ME...my name is Sandy, otherwise known as Sannican by that big brown thing...he's my favorite. Ummm....well...I fink I will tell you what it is wike to wive in the wife of sannican.

midnight: Time for my midnight snack...jump down from the bed, get food, then wine until mommy wakes up and puts you on the bed.

1 am: bad dream..time to wake mommy up

free am: I have to go potty now! Wake up mommy

four firty: Winzy wakes up, which means kingston wakes up and we are reunited..I wuv it

four forty five: time for my morning sprints up and down the house

four fifty five: Keep away from mommy so I am not wocked up...

5:01-I'm wocked up for eternity..but communication wif kingston is still possibow...frew scratching at the door

8am-I have to go potty
8:01-not anymore!

uhh...

noon: I'm hungry

12:15 Time for my afternoon nap

two firty: I have to go potty again...

two firty one-Time for my after afternoon nap

five firty: MOMMIES HOME!!! My favorite part of the day..cause I awso get reunite wif kingston..we get frown outside though..until about five forty five...it's pointwess to put us out though...cause mommy doesn't know I went potty five minutes before she got home

Five forty Five: Time to pway for all the time I missed while wocked up for eternity. This incwudes Basketball...pwaying wif the growler (fozzie)...chewing on various objects found on the fwoor...my favorite being winzy's shoes...her new high heels are my favorite.

7 pm-DInner time...if mom remembers...

7:15...I have to go potty..

8-more pwaying...need to get in as much as possibow before being wocked up tomorrow

9:45-nite nite dub dub time...whenever I hear this I immediatly get VERY tired

ten firty-after scratching and bunching for the last forty five minutes, I have finaway made my bed

Ten firty five-I'm hungry..I fink I will go get some food

10:50-mommy I need back up

11:30-hmm..I fink I want to pway...with my squeaky bone

12-I'm hungry..time for midnight snack again..

thats it! Any questions?

HEY...Sannican what do you fink you're doing?!?! I'm a wittle mad right now because the seahawks wost in over time...this is ridiculous. ANyways I could easiwy erase every fing sannican just wrote, but I fought you might want to see how stupid she is. Anyways I fink I am gonna go...Aunt Smeggs is about to weave and I need to give her my best puppy dog eyes so she will give me a bag of Top Ramen..it's my favorite...Wike Papa wike son...

I miss you mama and papa

Kingston Maurie

My new sister

So I have decided that Sanican is no longer an auntie, but instead she is now my sister. Here are some concrete details as to why I have now decided to call her my sister.
1. I wiv wif her just like my papa wived with my aunties
2. I pick on her wike a sister, but it's just broverly luv
3. I am older than her and that is weird for me to call her my auntie if she is younger
4. She sticks her head in my mouf and I don't wet just anyone do that
5. I wuv her lots so she is my sister
6. I share my bubbles wif her
7. I share my room wif her when gramma and grampa weave
8. Since I no wonger have Mr. Who I need a sibwing, you don't want to raise a spoiled brat of an only child would you?

That is all the reasons I can think of right now, but with this being said, my final thoughts are this...listen closely mama and papa...if I get to move back in wif you when you come home then Sanican is coming wif me. If you don't wike this then I'm sorry I'm going to have to wiv wif my aunties then because they said this was okay wif them. Sanican wuvs you wots, not as much as me, but she wuvs you guys wots and is very excited to be my sister I cannot wet her down and weave her. Anyways I wuv you bofe very much and miss you. Sanican and I cannot wait to see you!

Wuv,
Your favorite son!

RIP Mr. Who

Bubbowls!!!

SO the uffer day Aunt Smeggs was moving out of the house to go back to skool and she was putting some stuff on the table and she found this bottle of bubbowls...the kind you bwow and they pop. Well...wittle did she know I WUV bubbowls. OH my gosh..they are so fricken cool!! Anyways she started bwowing them and I pwayed with them and bit then and chomped them..but then I needed some water cause they didnt taste very well...anyways that was my story..theres a picture of me and sanican pwaying wif them to go awong with the story. I miss you mama and papa my bottom...

Kingston Maurie

Happy birfday mama

So yesterday was my mama's birfday. Everyone say happy birfday to my mama! I made a cake for her and ate all of it for her. Actuawy I wanted to send it to her in africa but grandpa and gramma and my aunties said i cant, that is why i hate them right now. Actuawy I fink I'm just going thru my terrible 2s. Or maybe i'm not a bad dog at all and i just wiv wif mean people that don't luv me so maybe my mama and papa should just come home...and maybe they should just come home now! Actuawy maybe im just mad because aunt smeg wegs is weaving soon for school and i'm going to miss her wike i miss my mama....and sometimes papa. Actuawy maybe i'm just mad because my other auntie is so busy with schooooooooool (i hate schools, they take everyone from me) that she doesn't spend time wif me anymore. Actuawy maybe i'm just cranky.

Cheeeeeessseee!

So I fink mama and papa wike wooking at me, so I went fru aunt winzy's wap top and found my favorite pictures of myself so mama and papa can wook at me. I hope you wuv vem mama and papa!

This is me sticking my head out of the window because I want to go for a ride.

This is me pwaying wif uncle Jim. I actually jumped out to him!

Oh ya know just anover picture of my good side

I fought this one shows the half bwack in me pretty well.

Yup me and Sanican, she fowwows me wherever I go

I can be very proper if I want to be...see mama and papa I'm a good dog, so come home to me!

Whoops, how did this one get in there? Well this was when I accidentawy got into the garbage, Aunt Winz was not happy about this one. Almost not as happy as the time I ate the entire package of oreos, or the box of uncooked hamburger helper noodles or the time...actuawwy I fink I have some more pictures to show you...

This is my mama and papa with my broffers and sisters, can you beweave they visited my rewatives wifout me?

And this is my broffer that my mama and papa visited

And this is my other broffer

Well that is all for my favorite pictures of me. I hoped you wiked them mama and papa. Wuv you!

Wuv,

Your son who wives miles and miles and miles and miles and miles and miles away, come home!

P.S. RIP Mr. Who

Pop my bottom???

Papa,

What are you going to pop my bottom with? A needle?

Aunties

Today I saw Aunt Smeg Wegs AND Aunt Winz. I wuv them bery much. I wuz so excited to see Aunt Winz that I went potty right after I saw her. I awlso bit Sanican in the head. She deeeeserrved it tho cuz she bit frew Aunt Winz's computer cord. Anyways that is it. I just wanted to say how much I wuv my aunties. And my gramma and grawmpa. And my momma and papa (jerks!). And sometimes I even wuv Sanican and stinky dog. I hate cats!

Wuv,
Kingston M.

P.S. Come home now Mama and Papa!