Kingston M. aka Attack Dog

So uhhh i have decided to try out a new profession...guard dogging! There have been a few occasions wately where I have needed to be ferocious (wike the wion that I am) to scare away a few people at the door wate at night. Gramma says how proud of me she is every time I do this, so I fink I might try it as a new profession. This does mean I have to change a few of my daywee rituals tho. From now on I have opted out of sweeping on mama and papas bed and instead I sneak out and sweep by the door each night. Gramma doesn't even make me.

Aunt Smeggs and Aunt Winz are helping me train. Sometimes they pway weird noises on the computer or I see dogs on tv that look like they're in the house and I sometimes hav false awarms. The other day gramma and aunt smeggs were watching the dog show and I swear one of the dogs jumped out of the tv and tried to get my gramma. So I ran full speed from the other end of the house to get the dog in the room, but I wasn't quick enough, by the time I made it to the rec room it jumped back into the tv. It must have seen me coming after him. I stood at the tv and barked at him and wet him know there would be no more of that nonsense and to weave my girls awone!

I did have a real false awarm though. Aunt Winz was pwaying a video of me barking and I accidentawee fought it was another dog....that's why I say I'm a guard dog in training. Anyways maybe after I get good enough I can eventuawee go from guard dog to wion dog. I mean, wook at me, I really think I look wike a wion.

Can you tell what one is me?

thats bull shih t

Yes...thats exactly right...I went for a walk today wif my wonderful aunt smegg weggs and because it was rather wet and cold, sannican had her bwack and pink fwuffy shirt on. Well uh...this attracted the attention of another wonderful dog walker who stopped to admire my handsomeness and also inquire about that ugwy white fwuffy fing. So Aunt Smegg Weggs said she was a maltipoo and he said his dog was a bull terrier and a Shih Tzu mix....now if you have ever seen dumb and dumber, you would have already noticed the hiwarity of that breed of dog...its kinda wike breeding a bull dog and shih tzu. Anyways...if you haven't gotten my joke yet..the dog was a bull shih t. Anyways...after that part of my walk, we decided to keep going but ugwy white dog was being a brat and didn't want to walk "because my paws are wet Kingston" so we turned around and came home...only to find out the real reason sannican couldn't walk...she had to go potty and didn't want to do it in pubwic...she has a fear of pubwic restrooms. Anyways all else is gwreat here at gwrammas pwace. Miss you mama and papa.

Wuv,

Kingston M.

Sandy's in heat

...nuff said..

Kingston M.

I wuv gwramma the most...ha ha beat her forever!

So, I uhh reuhwized that no one wuvs me (except Gwramma) . They wike to send me on these rower (roller) coaster twrips. Take mama and papa for instance. The save my wife, then they fwy to africa. Then they come home...and I get excited...then they weave again...and so on. So my auntie Winz comes in and saves me when mama and papa weave but then I get moved to Gwrammas house...and aunt winz weaves me..but sometimes comes back..but always weaves again. Aunt Smegg weggs...she comes home sometimes for months at a time..but always weaves again. But there is one person who hasn't. And that is my Gwramma. And I wuv Gwramma soooo much now. She even takes me on walks sometimes (cause she knows I wuv them). She feeds me...and wets me pway wif sannican and bite her...and chomp her. And she always wets me give her big kisses. Sometimes on the weekends she wets me jump on the bed wif her. (mama and papa, you can skip this next sentence) And she always gives me treats. Anyways...I wuv gwramma...and thats all I wanted to say...

Wuv,

Kingston Maurie (Gwrammas Favorite Grandchild)

Wack-a-sannican

Well uh..Have you ever pwayed wack-a-mole? Well I wike to pway wack-a-sannican. She hides in between the recwiner and the table and then runs out and I wike to wack her wif my paw and then she runs backwards back into her hiding spot. Then she comes out again and I wack her again and she hides... this goes on for about 5 minutes until she runs on the other side of the recwiner and I can't wack her anymore. Anyways I fink I'm writing so many bwogs cause I just want to wet everyone know that mama and papa are coming home in 41 hours and 17 minutes...and I'm so freakin excited.

Wuv you mama and papa

Your wuving son
Kingston M.

Guess what?

Aunt Smeggs walked in wif a bag of how-o-peen-yo chips...you know what that means?!?! Papa's coming home....mama better be wif him...

Can't a bruvver get some sweep?

Well uh... I decided that wast night I would sweep in gwrammas room cuz..well uh..aunt winz moved out, and now I'm a wittle wonewy in the room by myself. So Gwramma sets up my bed all nice for me and I way down trying to get comfy and go to sweep. Well that wasn't gonna happen anytime soon. Sannican was so excited for me to be sweeping in the same room that she couldn't sweep. I sometimes have that effect on people and fings wike sannican. So as I was waying down she wanted to come pway wif me and she wanted food and she just kept getting up all night wong...she was so distracted...and awso..she is a brat. She gets up and down all night wong, so Fozzie (scaredy dog) goes up and ways by gwrammas head cuz he wikes to snuggle (hmm..) but then sandy goes and lays down up by gwrammas head, but everytime she does it, she sits on fozzie so he freaks out and gets up and weaves...it happens every night. So I finawy fall asweep and well uh...sometimes I snore...so stupid sannican decides to go and stand at the end of gwrammas bed and just stare at me...man...that was pretty scary when I woke up. She was just staring at me. Stupid sannican. Anyways just fought I would wet you all know how I've been..and how stupid sannican is doing.

Wuv you mama and papa,

Kingstom M.

R.I.P. Mr. Who